Some of my friends have apparently been taking this Liquid Mineral Complex™, which is a:
unique and rich water-soluble blend of 84 ionically charged ocean minerals and trace elements derived from purified pristine sea water.
Apparently it gives you energy – “a life transfusion in a bottle”. Well, of course. Have you ever seen a group of dolphins? They’re an advertisement for drinking sea water if I ever saw one. And don’t forget, sharks drink it and they don’t get cancer or anything. (Oh wait, yes they do.)
OK, a couple of quick points. First, if it’s “purified” how come it has 84 minerals left in it?
Secondly, what is all this fuss about being “ionically charged”? All that means is that the minerals are in salt form so they dissolve in water. That is necessary for digestion but is nothing special per se. All salts are ionically charged when dissolved in water. Hey wait a minute - salts, dissolved in water, derived from purified sea water – they’re selling sea water. For $26 a pint!
Finally I have a get rich quick scheme that works. I can buy:
Instant Ocean® sea salt contains every necessary major, minor, and trace element…
Note, every. And it’s only $27 for 50 gallons. I can undercut Vitasalus™ Inc. (“we bring wellness back to life”) and sell my version (Skeptico’s™ Amazing Complex – we sell crap but use scientific jargon to make it sound special – OK I agree it needs a little work), for only $10 a half pint - that's $3 off. It’s still $8,000 though – a mark-up of over 29,500%. All I need now is a website.
Hey, wait a minute...
Drink this and grow an extra pair of arms and legs!