Some of my friends have apparently been taking this Liquid Mineral Complex™, which is a:
unique and rich water-soluble blend of 84 ionically charged ocean minerals and trace elements derived from purified pristine sea water.
Apparently it gives you energy – “a life transfusion in a bottle”. Well, of course. Have you ever seen a group of dolphins? They’re an advertisement for drinking sea water if I ever saw one. And don’t forget, sharks drink it and they don’t get cancer or anything. (Oh wait, yes they do.)
OK, a couple of quick points. First, if it’s “purified” how come it has 84 minerals left in it?
Secondly, what is all this fuss about being “ionically charged”? All that means is that the minerals are in salt form so they dissolve in water. That is necessary for digestion but is nothing special per se. All salts are ionically charged when dissolved in water. Hey wait a minute - salts, dissolved in water, derived from purified sea water – they’re selling sea water. For $26 a pint!
Finally I have a get rich quick scheme that works. I can buy:
Instant Ocean® sea salt contains every necessary major, minor, and trace element…
Note, every. And it’s only $27 for 50 gallons. I can undercut Vitasalus™ Inc. (“we bring wellness back to life”) and sell my version (Skeptico’s™ Amazing Complex – we sell crap but use scientific jargon to make it sound special – OK I agree it needs a little work), for only $10 a half pint - that's $3 off. It’s still $8,000 though – a mark-up of over 29,500%. All I need now is a website.
Hey, wait a minute...
Drink this and grow an extra pair of arms and legs!
Ahhh,but drinking too much sea water won't give you the runs.foregoing proper moderation of the Mineral Complex brings on the runs bigtime.Right there warrants the high premium in my opinion.you aint going to get that going into the Pacific and sucking it through a straw.
Posted by: rudy | February 07, 2005 at 08:45 PM
You speaking from personal experience?
Posted by: Skeptico | February 08, 2005 at 10:12 PM
Great site, I'll be back.
Posted by: Mad house madman | March 19, 2005 at 10:25 AM
Meh. We'll put this on the catalog with the Woo Machine. BTW, Skeptico, we could use a CEO. Wanna throw yer hat in? :)
Posted by: Rockstar | August 26, 2005 at 06:16 AM