(I don’t know who wrote this – I wish I could claim I did, but I can’t. Anyway, it’s pretty funny and you can find it all over the internet.)
Do you get those annoying emails, forwarded by some idiot who never checks anything, telling you something you know is nonsense and that you don’t have time to read? Next time, copy and paste the following into your reply to them. For bonus points, hit “reply all”. You might not win any friends, but they’ll get the message.
Subject: Warning! Warning! Danger! Watch OUT!
***********************************************
WARNING, CAUTION, DANGER, AND BEWARE!
Gullibility Virus Spreading over the Internet!
***********************************************
WASHINGTON D.C. -- The Institute for the Investigation of Irregular Internet Phenomena announced today that many Internet users are becoming infected by a new virus that causes them to believe without question every groundless story, legend, and dire warning that shows up in their inbox or on their browser. The Gullibility Virus, as it is called, apparently makes people believe and forward copies of silly hoaxes relating to underarm deodorant, terrorist attacks, computer viruses, taxes on email, and get-rich-quick schemes.
"These are not just readers of tabloids or people who buy lottery tickets based on fortune cookie numbers," a spokesman said. "Most are otherwise normal people, who would laugh at the same stories if told to them by a stranger on a street corner." However, once these same people become infected with the Gullibility Virus, they believe anything they read on the Internet.
"My immunity to tall tales and bizarre claims is all gone," reported one weeping victim. "I believe every warning message and sick child story my friends forward to me, even though most of the messages are anonymous."
Another victim, now in remission, added, "When I first heard about Good Times, I just accepted it without question. After all, there were dozens of other recipients on the mail header, so I thought the virus must be true." It was a long time, the victim said, before she could stand up at a Hoaxees Anonymous meeting and state, "My name is Jane, and I've been hoaxed." Now, however, she is spreading the word. "Challenge and check whatever you read," she says.
Internet users are urged to examine themselves for symptoms of the virus, which include the following:
The willingness to believe improbable stories without thinking. The urge to forward multiple copies of such stories to others. A lack of desire to take three minutes to check to see if a story is true.
T.C. is an example of someone recently infected. He told one reporter, "I read on the Net that the major ingredient in almost all shampoos makes your hair fall out, so I've stopped using shampoo." When told about the Gullibility Virus, T.C. said he would stop reading email, so that he would not become infected.
Anyone with symptoms like these is urged to seek help immediately. Experts recommend that at the first feelings of gullibility, Internet users rush to their favorite search engine and look up the item tempting them to thoughtless credence. Most hoaxes, legends, and tall tales have been widely discussed and exposed by the Internet community. Google is your friend.
Hoaxbusters
http://hoaxbusters.ciac.org/
Symantec Anti Virus Research Center http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/index.html
McAfee Associates Virus Hoax List at
http://us.mcafee.com/virusInfo/default.asp?id=hoaxes
Urban Legends Reference Pages at
http://www.snopes.com
Stop Spam
http://www.stop-spam.org/On-Line_Spam/antispam_fraud.php
Those people who are still symptom free can help inoculate themselves against the Gullibility Virus by reading some good material on evaluating sources, such as
Evaluation of Information Sources at
http://www.vuw.ac.nz/~agsmith/evaln/evaln.htm
James Randi Education Foundation
www.randi.org
Lastly, as a public service, Internet users can help stamp out the Gullibility Virus by sending copies of this message to anyone who forwards them a hoax.
*************************************************************
This message is so important, we're sending it anonymously! Forward it to all your friends right away! Don't think about it! This is not a chain letter! This story is true! Don't check it out! This story is so timely, there is no date on it! This story is so important, we're using lots of exclamation points! Lots!! AND LOTS OF CAPITAL LETTERS. Because stories written in ALL CAPITALS MUST BE TRUE. For every message you forward to some unsuspecting person, the Home for the Hopelessly Gullible will donate ten cents to itself. (If you wonder how the Home will know you are forwarding these messages all over the world, you're obviously thinking too much.)
*************************************************************
ACT NOW! DON'T DELAY
! LIMITED TIME ONLY! NOT SOLD IN ANY STORE!
Comments