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August 25, 2005

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Ok. That's it. I think I've had it.

We do these blogs to try and help people understand that homeopathic vibrational quantum fluxor pendulums don't work. But obviously dudes like this one stay in business.

Skeptico: Let's make a million dollars. You, I, and some of the other skeptical bloggers (aside from Orac, this might violate the Hippocratic oath) are basically experts in Woo-Woo, right?

Let's combine all the Woo into a product, make a website, and charge a gazillion dollars for our product. I say we make an Intelligently Designed Astrological Quantum Homeopathizing Titanium Prayer Wheel. It will create homeopathic remedies, Kabbalah water, and increase your athletic ability. Our Woo Machine will make your sex life better, and cleans the air in your home. It will grant you eternal life and money.

When a skeptic approaches and suggests our Woo Machine doesn't work, we know ALL the excuses, right? It's a win-win. Whatdya say everyone?

Great idea, as long as it's biodynamic organic free-range titanium. And don't forget the crystals.

395 bucks!

Plus $19.95 shipping and handling.

Can it make julian fries?

It has to ionize the air while preventing disease through natural methods. That's an absolute must-have.

Ok guys - Here's a thread just for the Woo-machine.

(didn't want to totally hijack Skeptico's comment thread...funny stuff though!)

You guys think small! I have an infallible plan to make us all RICH!!!!
1. There are Americans who believe that Dubya was somehow made President by God.
2. Idiots were (voluntarily!) drinking their own urine not that long ago.
3. Dubya urinates.
4. There is an icky tradition of drinking the urine of one's guru to show devotion or something.
5. Pay Dubya to collect his urine, market it in tiny vials marked, "NOT FOR INTERNAL USE" and charge $100 per vial.
6. Sit back and rake in the cash!!!

have u READ THIS CRAP?!? I mean, suffice it to quote the "Manual" for this thing (http://www.remedydevices.com/instructions/voce.htm), which contains troubleshooting q&a, all to do with beeping (no beeps, constant beeping etc.,) and contains the question: "If there is no beep is the device still working?" and the answer: " The beep is only to confirm your actions, the device will work whether it beeps or not, it will even continue to work if the batteries are dead."

Also, alongside this product, they offer a "Healer" that skips the pill stage and just heals u directly (if u put a hair sample or small picture of the subject/victim in a compartment), costs $70 less, and comes with an attachement that lets u "potentise" pills if u really feel u must...

Un-freakin'-belIEvable...

Hey, they ARE honest about their main goal: "the most important thing is that you can afford to buy our equipment" = mass marketing regardless of whether it actually WORKS.

I wonder what they say happens if somebody swears at their pill machine for ten minutes before using it. What kind of vibes would THAT set up? Might cause cancer or AIDS or something.

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