Want to see some unlikely-to-work products? Go to White Mountain: for only $395 you can own this device that allows you to speak your homeopathic remedy to convert sugar pills into homeopathic pills:
This little device can make literally thousands of different vibrational remedies from names of substances or descriptions spoken into it, which may include Homeopathic Remedies, Flower and Gem Remedies, even descriptions of illness symptoms, each device making the equivalent of at least $40,000 worth of Remedies, and this includes medications which would be impossible to obtain anywhere else!
Wow, think of the savings! It works like this:
…the device is fitted with a special kind of microphone which converts speech into subtle vibrations. These are then stored in a temporary memory inside the device, and then amplified and fed to a tiny "Well" that is fitted in the instrument, in which the bottle of blank unpotentised tablets are placed.
In use, the device is held close to the mouth, a button on the side of the Remedy Maker is pressed in, and you speak the name of a Remedy you want immediately followed by the Potency (if any). The button is then released and a "beep" sound is heard confirming that a remedy has been recorded and stored. Then the device is placed on a table or flat surface and a small bottle of tablets, or even just one or two tablets can be placed in the small 30.3mm ( 1. 3/16" ) diameter Stainless Steel Well that is fitted in the device. A switch next to the Well is operated and held down for about 3 seconds, and then released, and the device again beeps to confirm that your remedy has been made.
Skeptical? No problem. The product information page states:
None of our devices depend on your healing ability or belief to make them operate, they will work fine even if you think they don't!
That’s a relief. It continues:
We beleive (sic) that the most important thing is that you can afford to buy our equipment, and we do not beleive (sic) in excessive profit making.
Or in spell checkers, apparently.
Masses of other dubious products on sale including these dowsing pendulums.
Hum, vibrational energies used to potentize homeopathic remedies. This sounds a little like Jacques Benveniste’s later experiments where he claimed that water exposed to electromagnetic radiation at roughly 22KHz becomes “informed water” that is biologically active. He claimed the homeopathic signal can be digitized and sent by email if necessary, and then inserted into a clean water sample to make a new homeopathic solution. Unfortunately, independent testers found the recorded signal of the homeopathic solution was 100% identical to the pure water control solution. Still, that never stopped Benveniste (pictured on the right with test tubes of magic water) – why should it stop these people?
To be fair though, they do say the device makes homeopathic remedies, and since homeopathic remedies contain nothing anyway (they’re just water or sugar pills), they’re probably not lying. Whether the placebo effect from the potentized pills will be as strong as conventional homeopathic remedies though, is unknown.
Hat tip to Diamond at the JREF Forum.
Ok. That's it. I think I've had it.
We do these blogs to try and help people understand that homeopathic vibrational quantum fluxor pendulums don't work. But obviously dudes like this one stay in business.
Skeptico: Let's make a million dollars. You, I, and some of the other skeptical bloggers (aside from Orac, this might violate the Hippocratic oath) are basically experts in Woo-Woo, right?
Let's combine all the Woo into a product, make a website, and charge a gazillion dollars for our product. I say we make an Intelligently Designed Astrological Quantum Homeopathizing Titanium Prayer Wheel. It will create homeopathic remedies, Kabbalah water, and increase your athletic ability. Our Woo Machine will make your sex life better, and cleans the air in your home. It will grant you eternal life and money.
When a skeptic approaches and suggests our Woo Machine doesn't work, we know ALL the excuses, right? It's a win-win. Whatdya say everyone?
Posted by: Rockstar | August 25, 2005 at 06:09 AM
Great idea, as long as it's biodynamic organic free-range titanium. And don't forget the crystals.
Posted by: JC | August 25, 2005 at 06:55 AM
395 bucks!
Posted by: latibulum | August 25, 2005 at 07:18 AM
Plus $19.95 shipping and handling.
Posted by: bruce | August 25, 2005 at 08:15 AM
Can it make julian fries?
Posted by: BronzeDog | August 25, 2005 at 09:13 AM
It has to ionize the air while preventing disease through natural methods. That's an absolute must-have.
Posted by: JP | August 25, 2005 at 09:35 AM
Ok guys - Here's a thread just for the Woo-machine.
(didn't want to totally hijack Skeptico's comment thread...funny stuff though!)
Posted by: Rockstar | August 25, 2005 at 10:52 AM
You guys think small! I have an infallible plan to make us all RICH!!!!
1. There are Americans who believe that Dubya was somehow made President by God.
2. Idiots were (voluntarily!) drinking their own urine not that long ago.
3. Dubya urinates.
4. There is an icky tradition of drinking the urine of one's guru to show devotion or something.
5. Pay Dubya to collect his urine, market it in tiny vials marked, "NOT FOR INTERNAL USE" and charge $100 per vial.
6. Sit back and rake in the cash!!!
Posted by: VKW | August 25, 2005 at 11:00 AM
have u READ THIS CRAP?!? I mean, suffice it to quote the "Manual" for this thing (http://www.remedydevices.com/instructions/voce.htm), which contains troubleshooting q&a, all to do with beeping (no beeps, constant beeping etc.,) and contains the question: "If there is no beep is the device still working?" and the answer: " The beep is only to confirm your actions, the device will work whether it beeps or not, it will even continue to work if the batteries are dead."
Also, alongside this product, they offer a "Healer" that skips the pill stage and just heals u directly (if u put a hair sample or small picture of the subject/victim in a compartment), costs $70 less, and comes with an attachement that lets u "potentise" pills if u really feel u must...
Un-freakin'-belIEvable...
Posted by: Joe Joe | August 28, 2005 at 07:29 AM
Hey, they ARE honest about their main goal: "the most important thing is that you can afford to buy our equipment" = mass marketing regardless of whether it actually WORKS.
I wonder what they say happens if somebody swears at their pill machine for ten minutes before using it. What kind of vibes would THAT set up? Might cause cancer or AIDS or something.
Posted by: jay denari | August 30, 2005 at 12:02 PM