Tomorrow, February 3rd, will be the two-year anniversary of this blog. Skeptico is still going after two years, although not posting at the same rate as the first year. I’m currently getting 1,000 to 1,500 visitors a weekday, and just over half a million visitors in total (as of last Monday). Admittedly, that’s not as many as some people, but it’s not bad. The most read post is still my review of What The Bleep Do We Know!?, from April of 2005.
At the one year anniversary last year I posted Why did the chicken cross the road? – a retrospective of the bozos liars and frauds we met during that 
year. As this turned out to be a popular post, I decided to do the same again this year. I haven’t repeated the first year’s names, although many of their answers still apply. (If you want to read last year’s list, just click the link above.) There are a few who, through their continued stupidity, warranted revised entries. Most of them are new though.
So again, in honor of Skeptico’s blog birthday, and for your Friday amusement, I present Why did the chicken re-cross the road?
It is forbidden to draw pictures of the chicken crossing the road – kill infidels.
It is forbidden for the chicken to convert from Islam – cut off its head.
To protest blasphemers.
Islamic, Christian and Jewish leaders
To ban a gay parade.
To decide whether it feels like believing in Limbo today or not.
It comes as a splash of cold water to realize that science doesn't really know what the answer to this question actually is. This sounds like a rash claim, but the mystery is there for all to see. This proves we should be using our own mind and body as healing agents. (Buy my book.)
I have stopped answering this question due to the show's "inappropriate ridicule" of chickens crossing roads.
A chicken only uses 10% of its brain to cross the road.
Why do chicken’s cross road’s? Who know’s?
Rupert Sheldrake
Because someone was staring at it on this side of the road.
To take dictation from a dead person, or to make some lame-ass psycho-babble guesses about the killer (you choose).
Pat Robertson
To drink a protein shake and bench-press 2,000 pounds.
The Society for Psychical Research
The Society continues with its aim of understanding events and abilities commonly described as 'crossing roads' by promoting and supporting important research in this area. One day we’ll have an answer. Give us time - we’ve only been working on it for 125 years.
I’m not interested in your idea of why the chicken crossed the road; buy my book that describes my idea of why the chicken crossed the road.
We’ve just set up our own Institutional Review Board to review our studies into why chickens cross roads. This isn’t unethical.
Here is a list of 130 days in 2001 when chickens should avoid terrorist acts while crossing roads.
To divine the astrological meaning and significance of the new planet Eris.
To fart and create the vast variety of life we see on Earth.
To download complex scientific information about the universe from a blackbird.
Mel Gibson
Because of the Jews. Are you a Jew, sugar tits?
To set up a new website that’s not about making money, oh no.
To neutralize nuclear waste with Kabbalah water.
To threaten bloggers with legal action unless they remove an expose of their useless Shield Me product.
To make up a list of phony logical fallacies and (when caught out) pretend it was only joking.
To see its new baby brother sister.
It’s a secret.
To make a design inference, just like real scientists do. No, really.
The public school system has taught in a moral vacuum, expelling God from the school and from the government, replacing him with evolution, where the strong kill the weak without moral consequences, and so chickens cross the road for no inherent reason.
To sue the government for being abducted by aliens.
To be held in the embrace of an ultraviolet pulse beam from higher dimensions.
Chickens are only crossing lanes, not roads. It’s only a road if it’s at least a three lane highway, consequently there is no epidemic of chickens crossing roads and thimerosal causes autism.
To find Shawn Hornbeck’s dead body “in a wooded area”.
To find Shawn Hornbeck’s dead body “in a railway car”.
Randi is an atheist and a magician, so I don’t have to answer this question.
And now for some bloggers:
To get some more anti-biotics (sic) for its cold/virus thing.
To get a blog name that isn’t already taken.
And some commenters on this blog:
The truth of the matter is that there is simply no NEED for chickens to cross roads. Why? Because there is currently more than enough food on this side of the road, and if not the rest can starve anyway.
To truly look deeply at the work of Gregg Braden, past all the scientific analysis, the left brain analytical details and past its own scepticism, to reach a place we call compassion. Why are you so angry?
To give you the same old list of dopey rationalizations for astrology that have been debunked numerous times before.
You speak as if you claim to know exactly why chickens cross roads, or why they don’t, or even that you can know. You don't, anymore than me. You call things proven, because they cross a road. I have room in my mind for mystery, for that which is intangible, and has none of your proof.
The chicken is right .... you people are uninformed voices. I am very pleased that the chicken is smart enough not to engage with those who do not want to know the truth about crossing roads. Do some reading and become informed - just don’t expect me to explain what you are uninformed about.
That’s it for another year.
9/11 CT believer: It's only a hologram of a chicken. Get this through your thick, skepttcal head: THERE IS NO CHICKEN! A real chicken could never cross the road that fast.
Posted by: Big Al | February 02, 2007 at 01:19 AM
I think the chicken is a terrist and is crossing the road to spread her eggs of mass destruction amongst her fellow Enemies of Freedom [TM]. Off to Gitmo!
Posted by: emkay | February 02, 2007 at 07:46 AM
Me: Shouldn't we establish whether the chicken crossed the road the first time before we talk about re-crossing?
Posted by: Bronze Dog | February 02, 2007 at 09:30 AM
Me: To teach the road how to cross itself.
Posted by: coturnix | February 02, 2007 at 10:04 AM
Me: Superposition of two reasons, the correct one will not be known (in fact, will not be true), until we learn how to speak chicken and ask it. The possible reasons are:
1) Any discussion of "Why?" must always trace back to the reasons why any established previous events occured in order to present a complete answer. This leads to an infinite regression to the beginning of everyone, or infinitely backwards in time if there was no beginning. Either way, it's turtles all the way down.
2) We can establish that at some point in the past, the chicken was on the other side of the road, and that now it is on this side. We cannot, however, confirm that at any point it was actually crossing the road. Therefore, the supposition that it crossed the road is faulty as long as macroscopic quantum tunneling is a possibility.
Posted by: Infophile | February 02, 2007 at 01:21 PM
Cocksnack:
"Because he came from monkeys, so he had no moral guidebook to tell him not to cross roads.
But that's how it is in the fanciful land of the poultryist."
Posted by: Tom Foss | February 02, 2007 at 08:35 PM
Penn Jillette: CHICKENS DON'T CROSS ROADS, ASSHOLE! Even if they DID, it wouldn't be because of the reasons you give!
Me: I'll be honest... I don't know whether chickens cross roads or not. All I can say is that the believers's answers are really, really stupid.
Posted by: Man Called True | February 03, 2007 at 05:46 AM
Two years, congrats!!
Posted by: beajerry | February 04, 2007 at 02:06 AM
Creationist: "Could someone just explain this one thing to me, please? If the chicken already crossed the road, WHY do we still have roads?!"
By the way, big ups for the douce years (I'm trying to sound more "street").
Posted by: BigHeathenMike | February 04, 2007 at 08:08 PM
Larry King:
"Because he didn't know you just have to see my show to get in touch with "the other side"."
Posted by: Thinker | February 05, 2007 at 12:21 AM
No matter why the chicken crossed the road, Nostradamus PREDICTED IT!
He said "72 the white feathers,
"Arrayed on one side of the dark river
"The weary traveller takes up his cross
"When the giant leaves in sorrow"
72 - 2007, February.
The feathers are obvious.
The dark river is obviously a reference to the road.
It even talks about travelling and crossing.
The last line can't be anything but another reference to 9/11.
The guy was a genius. Deal.
Posted by: Big Al | February 05, 2007 at 12:55 AM
I know it's a little late, but congrats on the two years.
Now, back to the regularly scheduled programming.
Pseudo-quantam idiot:
"Because I chicken in Vietnam crossed the road, and this one was linked to it via quantum mechanics." *Runs off before this can be refuted.*
-Berlzebub
Posted by: Berlzebub | February 09, 2007 at 01:24 PM
Skeptico,
If you keep up this unscientific nonsense, I am going to put a bullet into your head. And yes, this is a threat!
Posted by: Gunfire | February 09, 2007 at 02:34 PM
To the poster "Gunfire", also posting as "Surani" at IP 69.114.94.75:
One of my rules for posting here is that you do not post with different names - known as using sock puppets. Do it again and you will be tossed.
You are free to post here but not to post threats, even silly ones like the above. Don't be a jerk.
This has been your one and only warning.
Posted by: Skeptico | February 09, 2007 at 03:07 PM
"Who needs courage when you have... a gun!" -Professor Farnsworth
Posted by: Bronze Dog | February 09, 2007 at 05:34 PM
To hide his weapons of mass destruction and to have a meeting with the Al Qaeda cell on the 'other side.' And the 62% of Americans that agree with me are all chicken-loving terrorist traitors.
(Not sure who wrote it, but signed 'GWB'.)
Congrats on 2, hope I'm around when you hit 10.
Posted by: Prup (aka Jim Benton) | February 15, 2007 at 10:33 AM
why did the chicken cross the road?
'Cause I prodded him with my electric goad.
copyright Ted Milton
Posted by: Blurt Blanca | February 27, 2007 at 03:48 AM