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April 04, 2007


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I like it.


@factician: Secretards FTW!


Incidentally, if you're in eastern Minnesota or western Wisconsin on April 14th, there's a free showing of the movie in my town. I'm planning to go.


Incidentally, if you're in eastern Minnesota or western Wisconsin on April 14th, there's a free showing of the movie in my town. I'm planning to go.




I'm quite a fan of "Secretards", as long as it's pronounced like "secretary".

First level believers: Suckers.
Second level believers: Idiots.
Top level believers: Scammers.

"Secretards" gets my vote! :)

How about untrustworthies? They are, after all, blabbing secrets to the whole world.

secrets de Polichinelle
secret agents

I just can't be bothered to take enough notice of them to call them anything at all.

Scientific name secretardus moronicus.

I actually like "secretrons," but "secretoids" is a close second. "Secretards" is accurate but just too childishly insulting to be worth using, in my opinion. I have to admit that I laughed at "secretions"; it's silly, but it made me giggle. "Secret agents" has a certain validity to it; it might be confusing because of the other meaning of the term, but it's darned clever.

Of course, "fools" works pretty well, too. What else could adequately describe people, nominally adults no less, who actually seem to think that "wishing makes it so"?

~David D.G.


Dang it, the right name didn't just automatically appear!

"Secretards" is the most appropriate, even without the 'retard' reference. This comment by a James Bradley was in a 2001 mailing from the A Word A Day list (this isn't a plug for them, and I don't want to look like I'm spamming for them when all I'm doing is citing a reference, so if you're interested, you'll have to look it up yourself):

The suffix -ard is ... a derogatory suffix in French slang that gets applied to many words to modify them, usually into insults. For instance, while chauffeur in French means driver-- not just the limo kind: Chauffeur de taxi means, simply taxi driver-- "chauffard" is slang for someone who drives badly. A common mild expletive is "espèce de chauffard!" -- literally "species of bad driver" -- which you can say anytime someone cuts you off or sits in front of you when the light turns green. This is classic Parisian slang, I don't know if [it is] everywhere in France.

"Espèce de Secretard" is it for me from now on!

Further to the 'espèce de chauffard' comment, some may be interested to know that Captain Haddock (the character from the Tintin books) used the phrase at least once.

(Google for the phrase and see the entry that comes up for KingChili's blog. The Google translation software gives 'espèce de chauffard' as 'species of roadhog'. Some of its other translations are a little more ... suspect.)

Fabulous book review - re Oprah and her shallow secretness:

(I vote for Secretins, but all the ideas are great, nice job you guys)

I'm voting for "secretins." Laugh-out-loud funny, and slightly more compassionate than "secretards" (har).

I make that:

Secretards - 5
Secretins - 4
Secretions - 2
Secretrons and Secretoids - 1 each.

I think I'm going with Secretards. It had the highest number and I think it describes them pretty well - their arguments are certainly retarded. Thanks for the input.

Hey, Skep, sorry I didn't get in on the vote here -- I was busy fighting other battles -- but besides my own "Secretron" I really like "Secretard" and "Secretoid." And my partner RevRon has been calling 'em "Secretions" for months now, though a couple of Secret fans got after him on my blog for name-calling. My sense is that there's room in this big ol' Universe for all those names.

However, I'm "secretly" glad that "Secretard" won out because quite frankly, that's how I feel about many of these people. And I really enjoyed your subsequent post too, which I'll comment on shortly.

I've also been calling Law Of Attraction zealots in general LOA-noids (pr. low-uh-noids). Some allies of mine who have "inside" info tell me there are some REAL zealots in the Abraham-Hicks community -- folks who would put mere Secret zealots to shame. As y'all probably know by now, Abraham is the group of imaginary friends that catapulted Esther and Jerry Hicks to fame. They are truly "the secret behind The Secret," though they don't appear in the "new and improved" version of the DVD. No matter, they have a new DVD of their own out.

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